grace & faith

I am 19 years old now. But not officially 19. You know, the thoughts of having a boyfriend really hit me hard since my surrounding are all showing their partners. I used to have a crush on someone, and I really hoped for him but in the end, he's having a girl of his choice. I am a person that will only love one guy wholeheartedly and don't look at anyone else anymore. That is how setia I am. Really.

But maybe I put too much hope for him that eventually makes me hurt so much. Shouldn't put too much hope on him since I am no one and he did not really know me either. It really is my fault. I admit.

And now, I am slowly moving on from him. Wanted to focus more on myself, take care of myself, focus on self-love and self-care. I am sure living life without a crush is much better than having one.

From now on, I only hope that Allah will guide my heart to only love you that is meant to be mine, and just you. No love feeling towards anyone else, just you straight away. And I hope that you are the one that has always been in my dream of choice.

To you that I will fall in love with, I hope you can appreciate me just like how I love and appreciate you. Because if I fall in love with you, that means I really love you. I want you to be my best partner Dunya & akhirah; the one that I can lay my head on your shoulder when I need some kind of attention.

The one that I can cry on without feeling ashamed because you are just too understanding. The one that treats me like a princess, and loves me just like my parents love me. The one that loves to give me presents and love language just to see me happy. I want our love story to be magical and beautiful. 💞💖✨

I really appreciate it if you are sincere to make me happy. I am beyond grateful for that.

And apart from that, I hope you are a good looking guy. A handsome guy indeed. A bit too much but it is not wrong if I hope and pray for one, right? Lol.

I hope you're doing just fine now. Please take care of yourself, love. Can't wait to see you in the future. May Allah ease everything for us to be with each other. Please insert me in your du'a. Love you from afar, and not knowing you.

With love,

Amirah, your future princess 💞✨

22/02/2022

(omg not realised the date 😂, a good one indeed)

Hope to see you a year from now. May Allah ease.

No comments

For the past few days, I've been searching for the true meaning of happiness in my life. What is the meaning of 'happiness' itself actually?

I'm sure that everyone has their own definition of happiness in life. So do I. Honestly, as I am still a student that will be having my big exam soon, I need to study a lot la basically. Sometimes, I will feel demotivated too when it comes to studying.

But to be truly honest, when I started to push myself to my study table and study, I feel happier. And I'm so grateful for that feeling. When I started to understand better for the things that I studied, I'm truly happy. Really. It somehow makes me feel to study even more. Alhamdulillah ♡

The other thing that makes me happy is when I listen to music. Like what I'm doing right now! I'm listening to Blue & Grey by BTS while writing this honestly hehe. I really enjoy listening to music since I was a child. I don't know how to explain but music really has the own vibes that could make me feels I'm in a different world. And I love to explore the various vibes in music :)

I think happiness can be found when we really do the things that we should do and make it as something positive and enjoyable. It could be anything, such as doing house chores, studying, make our to-do list done, writing, watch aesthetic youtube videos, reading and etc.

It's just us, that forget to feed ourselves with our own true happiness.

We were too busy feeding ourselves with a lot of things without filtering the necessary ones. That was what I did back then. But for today, I'm happier than yesterday honestly since I got to make my to-do list done :) even this is the first day I did that (setelah lamanya tak begitu ikut my to-do list), I'm proud of myself though 😅

I really hope that I can make myself happier day by day. Personally, I think being happy is really important. Being 'happy' as in, happy in our own definition of happiness. You know why, when I feels biasa je; tak happy tak sedih, serious tak tahu nak buat apa. Rasa hati tak tenang. So, we should do something that can make ourselves happy and at the same time make us feel satisfied as well.

Hoping for a more blessed and lovely day ahead for everyone.

With love,

Amirah.

No comments

Been going through these tough times alone. It's so easy to get distracted by your friends that seem to really study hard during this lockdown. Honestly, I felt quite demotivated sometimes seeing them going higher every day. Not to say that I'm not studying at all, but their fast progression somehow makes me feel bad for myself. I think this is the hard pill to swallow when it comes to studying alone at home; we would always feel everyone is getting better and ourselves are vice versa.

I don't know for other people but for me, I can say that I often think that my friends mesti dah study itu ini. And I'm here, still with my slow progression; which I think it's so dangerous because SPM is 2 months from now. I know that slow progress is still a progression, but I just feel bad somehow because I can't be as fast as them. Maybe it's because of my fault jugak sebab not being that productive. But, can I say that my unproductiveness is because of this feeling as well?

I always say to myself to not put the fault on others but instead, look for ourselves first. I just think that it is not a matured way if we easily put the fault on others rather than ourselves. Personally, for me, if one is matured, they would always search the mistake on themselves first before making any conclusion. It sounds a bit rude if we put the fault on others without looking on our own selves.

In this case, I kind of putting the fault on others, but personally, I think this is a normal feeling to everyone that facing this kind of situation. Studying alone at home, staying home for a long time, not being productive; these are all the thing that brought us to feel unmotivated and not good enough.

It becomes different for some people based on how they handle their feelings and mindset. I admit that it's not easy to handle our feelings to its safe state at this time, but we need to. How?

Just now something came into my mind. I wondered, how did some people make it to be productive at this time? And I realised something. Something that I actually working on right now which is 'ignore'. Honestly, I am trying to not really care about others because everything that I think about them is all just assumptions; that obviously doesn't 100% correct.

When I keep on thinking what are they doing, how are they and all, I am actually making myself feel bad. Which that's the reason why I shouldn't eyeing to people and compare myself with them. But sometimes, the feeling just pops up naturally without even realising it, that eventually makes me in this sorrow feeling.

Positive affirmations and mindset are indeed important right now. I'm worried if I can't handle this situation, I will end up feeling disappointed; just because of me unable to handle myself in a positive way.

But at the same time, I did saw some of them weren't that busy studying. There were some of them that still playing games, watching drama and all. Or maybe it's just me that judging people based on their Whatsapp status uhh smh 💁😔

Well honestly, I shouldn't think this way. If I really wanted to be better, than I should just do it. I shouldn't give any excuse in order to step forward. Even though I am in a 'not-so-good' situation right now, there are a lot more beautiful things that I may overlooked. The word 'grateful for little things' really makes sense right now.

I really hope everyone is having a good day today. Whether you have started the day a bit late, or maybe with a not good routine, there's still time for you to start afresh. To start a day is not only early in the morning.

We all can always start at 12 pm, 2 pm or maybe after Asar prayer. Maybe it sounds a bit weird but I think it's good for us rather than feeling down the whole day just because of the bad morning routine. I hope that we can go through these hard times together and eventually getting stronger than ourselves before.

Don't make this situation as the reason you hate yourself. You should be grateful that you are still strong until now. Love yourself every day, because there's no one who would love you as you love your own selves. 💖

Wishing everyone a blessed & happy day.

Lots of love,

Amirah.

No comments

Image result for positive quotes for exam

hi and assalamualaikum everyone. 👋

i am sorry for being hiatus from blogging because i am facing my SPM this year! 😩 so i kinda don't have time to write anything on my blog. so sebab tulah blog ni pun cam tergantung sepi je hm :) but alhamdulillah, i am a bit free now, so i think i want to write my thought regarding SPM, so that i can make an early preparation i guess? :) i write this for myself but i share it here so that you guys yang SPM jugak bolehlah baca kan hehe ☝☺

----------

as we all know, SPM this year diawalkan. awal bulan oktober dah mula dah. and its 8 months from now. belum tolak cuti yang berlambak tu lagi. if tolak-tolak, tinggal dalam 7 bulan je. so we need to do an early preparation ye anak-anak ☝☺. ya, ya i know that i didn't do much preparation as well, sebab tulah nak nasihat diri sendiri ni :)

if you ask me, how i feel for SPM, all i can say is, i takut. yes, takut. tapi tak reti nak buat preparation ☝☺. i am sure that everyone already set their goal to get the best result in SPM right? nak straight A kan. same goes to me. I've planned everything that i need to do in order to get what i want. but as a human being, we all make mistakes. sometimes we fall into the same mistakes that we did before. repeatedly. and we tend to hate ourselves for being such. kan? :))

there's some day i will feel really motivated to do my homework and study. but the good day also came with bad day. sometimes my mood will takde langsung nak hadap homework yang berlambak. then, bertangguh-tangguhlah jadinya :) naik meluat tengok homework yang bertangguh tu ☝☺

but then again, i realized that it all started to be bad when i am too focus with my phone. as for me, sometimes your phone can be really toxic and ruin your mood for the whole day. it can easily interrupt you from doing your homework tahu tak. even when you say to yourself, "just a minute, i will continue the homework later." then, BOOM. habis semua homework kau tak siap.

benci kan benda tu?

don't worry, you're not alone :)

and when you are in mood to settle your homework, and dah siap, you will feel soooo happy like semua halangan depan kau dah takde. bersih suci dan murni. then when you come to school the next day, and your friend asked you about the homework you've done, and kebetulan pulak kawan kau tu tak siap, kau akan rasa bersalah gila nak cakap kau dah siap sebab kau tak pernah-pernah siap homework ☝☺ sumpah rasa cam bersalah sebab takut ter-riak :) but if tak siap, nanti benci diri sendiri.

so, it's so complicated ye anak-anak ☝☺ i donno la what to say.

but one thing for sure, it is all about ourselves. if you want to finish your homework, then finish it. don't be like others that procrastinate it just because the due date is lambat lagi. by hook or by crook, we, as a student need to finish our homework although we busy or not.

i remember my Chemist teacher once said, "berani ye kamu tak siap homework." to all my classmates.

that word "berani ye" tu, really hit me hard tahu tak. sumpah sentap gila :") from that precious time, i will remember that significant word whenever i feel not to finish my homework hewhew.

but, you know what, all things will be okay and just follow the flow when we have a strong determination towards our goals. we need to set a realistic and specific goal. the goal that we love and betul-betul ikhlas nak capai. we cannot just say "i want straight A's" and dah tu je. without any "rasa" dalam hati. "rasa" yang you betul-betul nak that straight A's.

as for me, if you want to get straight A's in SPM, you need to set what kind of result that you want for the exams before the SPM itself. so that you can actually see your improvements. ahh, i know that i tak layak nak cakap benda ni. but this is just my opinion. banyak lagi opinion dari orang lain. so don't blame me if i'm wrong please 👉👈

so yah. that's it.

even though we are busy with studying, don't forget to appreciate ourselves. enjoy the journey, the moment. ignore things that make you feel bad about yourself. set a strong goal and work for it. don't get interrupt with things that does not important to your life. everyone can achieve success, dengan syarat, USAHA.

so, don't be sad. semua orang boleh. don't compare yourself with others yang lebih dari you. if you want to compare, don't feel bad about yourself but instead, be like them. kita masih dalam awal bulan, jadi masih sempat untuk restart everything. please, don't feel bad about yourself. everyone have their own uniqueness. so appreciate them. stay positive okay ;)

and the last thing i want to say is, don't show your 'kerajinan' to people. i didn't mean kerajinan yang betul-betul rajin, what i mean is 'kerajinan' yang jarang-jarang datang pastu nak tunjuk kat orang. you get what i mean? alaaa i don't know how to explaiiinn 😩

it is not something bad pun, but for me itself, when you show it, you will tend to jadi lebih malas. i don't know for other people, but for me, i think we should just keep quiet. work hard in silence, and let the success be your noise.

as my inspiration once said, "stay personal, silence is golden."

good luck to all my '03 mates for SPM 2020! 💛

2 comments

Download premium vector of Hand drawn sunflower patterned ...

Aku rasa ramai dikalangan kita, yang ada rasa diri ni useless, rasa diri ni selalu overthinking, rasa serabut gila, stress, rasa macam takde harapan and list goes on, kan? Kalau tak banyak, mesti ada walaupun sikit right? Kalau yang takde rasa macam tu, alhamdulillah lah. But, let me tell you something.

you are not useless.
you are not a burden in this world.
you can achieve your dreams.
you can be a better person!

Believe me, semua orang ada kepentingan kepada dunia ni. Walaupun kau rasa kau takde bakat apa-apa, sebenarnya kau ada. Cuma kau tak cari je. Kalau betullah kau memang takde bakat atau useless, then kenapa kau diciptakan kat dunia ni? Mesti ada sebab. Jadi, janganlah rasa macam tu. Itu perasaan kau je, bukan betul pun. Kau boleh je cipta bakat if kau nak.

Contoh, kau takde bakat dalam subjek Math. But one day, kau cuba buat latihan Math ni. Then tetiba kau rasa suka sikit dengan subjek tu sebab kau dah mula faham konsep. Then, kau cuba buat lagi.

And akhirnya kau memang dah fall in love with the subject. Secara tak langsung, timbul perasaan minat terhadap Math ni. Dari situ, kau boleh jadikan benda yang kau minat ni as bakat. Kau boleh asah & asah bakat kau sampai kau jadi pro. Then, kau boleh beri manfaat melalui bakat ni contohnya dengan jadi cikgu ke, akauntan ke, pensyarah ke, pegawai bank ke, professor ke and lain-lain lagi. And secara tak langsung, kau boleh sara hidup melalui bakat ni. Kan berguna tu?

Cuma yang penting, kita kena pandai control mindset kita. You know what, your mind can control. Kita BOLEH, I repeat, kita BOLEH control mindset kita sama ada nak fikir ke arah positive atau negative. Meh aku jelaskan lebih clear,

"In simple terms, being positive is to intercept our negative thinking as it happens and modify it into something more positive. This doesn't mean that we deny the bad thing that had happened. There is a difference between being positive and being delusional."

from book : Unshakeable, by Aiman Azlan.

Jadi, kalau rasa-rasa fikiran tu ke arah negative, then cuba tukar balik ke arah positive. Kau kan yang control minda kau? So, bawaklah minda kau ke arah positive. Okay, biar aku bagi contoh sikit eh.

Contoh, kawan kau post something yang macam relatable dengan kau. And kau rasa dia macam nak perli kau sebab statement yang dia post tu macam dituju kepada kau. Dia tak mention sesape pun, tapi kau je terasa lebih. So kau pun mulalah sangka yang dia ni mesti nak bagi aku terasa kan.

Pastu dari situ, kau mula fikir makin dalam, dalam, dalam, dalam sampai kau stress. End up, kau dah takde mood nak buat kerja, malas nak geraklah, tetiba baran tak tentu pasal, bad mood & lain-lain. See? Banyak kan kesan dia?

Padahal, kau boleh je anggap benda tu nothing. Waktu kawan kau post statement tu, kau boleh je anggap yang maybe dia post sebab dia nak mention orang lain ke, memang nak post secara umum bagi semua orang tahu ke, atau maybe dia post sebab relatable dengan diri dia sendiri. Kau pun tak boleh lah nak simpulkan apa-apa sebab kau tak tahu apa tujuan dia post benda tu.

Jadi, kat sini kau ada pilihan nak anggap benda tu as positive atau negative. But still, kedua-dua pilihan tu belum tentu betul. Jadi, kalau nak kesan yang baik, fikirlah positive. Tak ada faedah pun kalau fikir negative. Nanti kau jugak yang stress, kan?

Apa-apa je situasi yang kau lalui, kau akan berhadapan dengan pilihan. Tengah main fon, tengah belajar, tengah tengok tv ke, tengah tengok netflix ke, melukis ke, mewarna ke, membaca ke dengar lagu ke, apa-apa je. Kau memang kena buat pilihan & kau berhak buat pilihan. So, pilihlah perkara yang akan beri kesan positive oki 😉.

Image result for positive words pinterest

Kepada sesiapa yang mungkin menghadapi stress, atau mungkin dah nak ke depressed, please love yourself. Kadang-kadang kan, kalau kita selalu fikir negative, overthinking ke arah negative, nanti boleh bawa kepada stress & depression tau. Please, jangan sakiti diri sendiri. Kau sangat berharga. Jangan seksa diri, jangan rasa useless. Bangun, bangkit. Semua orang boleh berjaya, semua orang boleh jadi lebih baik. Masih ada peluang untuk ubah apa yang kau tak nak.

Depression & stress ni sangat berkait dengan mental. Jadi please, jaga mental kita baik-baik. Mental kita ni hebat gila tau. Benda yang kau rasa mustahil untuk jadi, boleh terjadi, bila kau control mind kau betul-betul. Meh aku bagi contoh lagi, hehe.

Aku ada baca dalam buku Unshakeable jugak, ada satu part ni, penulis cerita yang masa tu dia tengah berlari dekat dengan kawasan rumah dia. Pastu dia rasa nak berhenti sebab dia rasa macam dah tak boleh nak teruskan tapi, dia terfikir; dia nak tengok how far he can push himself.

So, dia cakap dengan diri dia, "just a little further, run until you reach that tree in front of you." Pastu dia larilah and dia tak sangka dia dapat lari sampai pokok tu. Pastu dia sambung lagi dengan strategi yang sama, "just a little further, now run until you reach that bridge." Again, dia mampu buat. Then, dia terus ulang strategi yang sama sampailah dia habiskan larian dia.

Eventually, he realized that it wasn't his body that was quitting, it was his mind. His mind was telling him to stop, not his body.

Nampak tak? Our mind is SO POWERFUL. We can control our mind !

So, kalau kita nak sesuatu tu terjadi, cakap dengan diri sendiri & fikir macam mana nak pastikan yang kita dapat buat benda tu. Control our mind.

...

I hope that these can help each one of you. Aku pun masih tak pandai nak bagi tips semua ni, aku hanya berkongsi. Dan aku harap adalah sedikit sebanyak manfaat melalui perkongsian ni. Apa yang aku kongsi ni pun adalah pendapat aku sendiri lepas aku baca buku Unshakeable tu and bahan bacaan lain. Kalau ada yang salah, aku minta maaf. Mungkin aku masih belum matang untuk beri pendapat. Tapi apa-apa pun, yang positive kita ambil, yang negative kita letak tepi oki. ♡

"How you think is how you feel. So if you want to feel better, think better."

- Aiman Azlan

Thank you for reading. See you soon, bye! 🌼

No comments

Image result for desktop wallpaper pinterest

Selaaain daripada tu, kita kat sini, masih mampu fikir harini nak berbuka apa, nak sahur apa.

Pernah tak kadang2 tu terfikir macam mana perasaan berada di tempat kanak-kanak Palestine? Kesusahan diorang, keperitan ujian hidup diorang..

Anak-anak muda Palestin dah mampu beli kehidupan akhirat. Setiap hari diorang fikir sama ada hidup atau mati. Takde masa nak fikir berbuka apa, sahur apa. Kita kat sini senaaaang sangat. Semua boleh beli, semua dah tersedia-- takde masalah langsung. Kalau ada masalah berat sekalipun, tak mampu nak dibandingkan dengan keperitan penduduk Palestine.

Mereka dah nampak yang akhirat itu lebih bahagia & baik berbanding dunia yang penuh dengan musibah. Jadi, kita yang masih cukup segala keperluan ni, bersyukurlah. Syukur sangat-sangat kita masih ada rumah, ada katil empuk untuk tidur, ada kenderaan.

Diorang dah takde dah semua tu. Ada rumah pun cukup2 untuk berlindung je. Gunalah kesenangan yang ada ni untuk buat baik, untuk berubah. Jangan nanti dah susah barulah menyesal kenapa aku tak berubah dari awal lagi..

So sebelum ni, aku ada cakap pasal taqwa kan. Jadi sekarang, aku nak kongsi ilmu daripada ustaz tentang macam mana kita nak lahirkan taqwa dalam diri.

1. Mesti ada perjanjian dengan Allah bahawa tiada yang layak disembah melainkan Dia.

tiada tempat untuk kita mohon sesuatu melainkan hanya Allah. Contohnya, sebelum sahur tu, ambillah masa sekejap untuk bermunajat pada Allah. Luahkan segala apa yang kita nak luahkan pada Allah. Kalau boleh, menangislah. Air mata tu sangat mahal. Kalau kita dah memang tak boleh nangis langsung, nabi kata, buat-buatlah menangis.

2. Muhasabah.

renungkan balik-- macam mana quran aku, macam mana qiamullail aku, sedekah, solat and lain2. Bacalah quran, sebab Al-Quran lah yang akan jadi pembela kita di akhirat kelak. Bila kita luang masa sikit untuk muhasabah, insha Allah kita akan sedar balik daripada perkara yang melalaikan kita.

3. Mujahadah.

mujahadah ni maksudnya bersungguh-sungguh. Kita kena buat 'resepi' untuk dapat semua kebaikan pada bulan Ramadan. Mulakan tindakan tu sekarang-- rapatkan diri kepada Allah, buat solat2 sunat & jangan bagi alasan. Lepastu hadirkan hati; ingat kematian. Ingat apa yang jadi lepas kematian, which is tentang nikmat syurga & azab neraka lah kan. Baru kita akan bersungguh buat amal ibadah.

4. Perbanyakkan baca Al-Quran.

bacalah walaupun dalam fon. Kalau boleh guna mushaf. Kurangkan masa dengan fon & banyakkan masa dengan Quran.

5. Baca sirah-sirah nabi.

banyakkan baca kisah-kisah nabi. Contohnya, kisah tentang macam mana nabi puasa, berbuka, bersahur & kisah2 lain. Banyak sangat kisah nabi yang best2 dan kita boleh jadikan inspirasi.

*info tambahan: semua makanan yang kita makan, akan dihisab di akhirat.

6. Berkawanlah dengan orang yang baik.

cth; ikutlah dia solat sama2. jangan kamu bersahabat melainkan orang yang betul2 beriman pada Allah. Sebab, kalau kita kawan dengan seseorang yang baik, insha Allah lama-lama kita akan terkena tempias baik tu jugak. Tapi, kalau sebaliknya, sebaliknya lah yang akan jadi :)

Dan aaakhir sekali,

7. Ingatlah Allah setiap masa.

tak kisahlah masa tengah masak ke, tengok gunung ke, pokok ke, sungai ke, tengah lipat baju ke, sapu sampah ke ah semualah. Cuba untuk hadirkan hati untuk ingat Allah dalam apa jua yang kita lakukan.

--------------------

Okay, sampai sini sahaja entry kali ini. Maaflah kalau terlalu panjang, tapi benda ni kan penting untuk kita semua. So, sebab tulah aku share. And, janganlah anggap aku dah buat semua yang aku share ni sebab aku pun pendosa jugak-- perlukan tarbiyah untuk didik jiwa. Kita usaha sama-sama eh?

Terima kasih sebab baca sampai habis, minta maaf kalau ada salah silap sepanjang pembacaan ni. Semoga bermanfaat untuk kita semua! Assalamualaikum. 💗

1 comments

grace & faith

Follow Me

Labels

recent posts

Blog Archive