Been going through these tough times alone. It's so easy to get distracted by your friends that seem to really study hard during this lockdown. Honestly, I felt quite demotivated sometimes seeing them going higher every day. Not to say that I'm not studying at all, but their fast progression somehow makes me feel bad for myself. I think this is the hard pill to swallow when it comes to studying alone at home; we would always feel everyone is getting better and ourselves are vice versa.
I don't know for other people but for me, I can say that I often think that my friends mesti dah study itu ini. And I'm here, still with my slow progression; which I think it's so dangerous because SPM is 2 months from now. I know that slow progress is still a progression, but I just feel bad somehow because I can't be as fast as them. Maybe it's because of my fault jugak sebab not being that productive. But, can I say that my unproductiveness is because of this feeling as well?
I always say to myself to not put the fault on others but instead, look for ourselves first. I just think that it is not a matured way if we easily put the fault on others rather than ourselves. Personally, for me, if one is matured, they would always search the mistake on themselves first before making any conclusion. It sounds a bit rude if we put the fault on others without looking on our own selves.
In this case, I kind of putting the fault on others, but personally, I think this is a normal feeling to everyone that facing this kind of situation. Studying alone at home, staying home for a long time, not being productive; these are all the thing that brought us to feel unmotivated and not good enough.
It becomes different for some people based on how they handle their feelings and mindset. I admit that it's not easy to handle our feelings to its safe state at this time, but we need to. How?
Just now something came into my mind. I wondered, how did some people make it to be productive at this time? And I realised something. Something that I actually working on right now which is 'ignore'. Honestly, I am trying to not really care about others because everything that I think about them is all just assumptions; that obviously doesn't 100% correct.
When I keep on thinking what are they doing, how are they and all, I am actually making myself feel bad. Which that's the reason why I shouldn't eyeing to people and compare myself with them. But sometimes, the feeling just pops up naturally without even realising it, that eventually makes me in this sorrow feeling.
Positive affirmations and mindset are indeed important right now. I'm worried if I can't handle this situation, I will end up feeling disappointed; just because of me unable to handle myself in a positive way.
But at the same time, I did saw some of them weren't that busy studying. There were some of them that still playing games, watching drama and all. Or maybe it's just me that judging people based on their Whatsapp status uhh smh 💁😔
Well honestly, I shouldn't think this way. If I really wanted to be better, than I should just do it. I shouldn't give any excuse in order to step forward. Even though I am in a 'not-so-good' situation right now, there are a lot more beautiful things that I may overlooked. The word 'grateful for little things' really makes sense right now.
I really hope everyone is having a good day today. Whether you have started the day a bit late, or maybe with a not good routine, there's still time for you to start afresh. To start a day is not only early in the morning.
We all can always start at 12 pm, 2 pm or maybe after Asar prayer. Maybe it sounds a bit weird but I think it's good for us rather than feeling down the whole day just because of the bad morning routine. I hope that we can go through these hard times together and eventually getting stronger than ourselves before.
Don't make this situation as the reason you hate yourself. You should be grateful that you are still strong until now. Love yourself every day, because there's no one who would love you as you love your own selves. 💖
Wishing everyone a blessed & happy day.
Lots of love,
Amirah.